Posted by: bueller | August 29, 2007

Junk Drawer: Corporate Ghetto

YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE “CORPORATE GHETTO” WHEN….

1. You don’t officially start working in the morning until you read your emails.
2.. You have at least one drawer/cabinet that contains more food than office supplies.
3.. Not only do you know all the security guards, janitors and cafeteria workers, one of them has asked you out on a date.

4.. Your version of a conference call is when you call your friends and plan what you are doing for the weekend.
5.. The only time your significant other picks you up from work is on payday.
6.. Friends and family members call you at work to cuss you out because you didn’t answer your phone quick enough.
7.. You paint your nails at your desk.
8. When you are on a personal call you laugh so loud your co-workers on the other side of the office come to ask you what’s so funny.

9.. You have pictures on your wall with you and your friends at the club.
10..To beat the system, you have codes for personal calls that let’s someone know to call you right back.(Let the phone ring two times and call me right back).

11.. You give your out-of-town friends your company’s 1-800 number.
12.. Before calling in sick, you rehearse your sick voice and sick story several times out loud.
13.. Co-workers inquire how your father’s surgery went that required you to be out for days and you don’t even know WHO your daddy is.

14.. You use the company’s postage machine to stamp your personal mail.
15.. Your kid’s school supplies all have your company insignia on them, you order personal supplies for you and your kids.

16.. You call in sick on payday Friday and send your cousin to pick up
your paycheck. (Now THAT’S REAL ghetto!! Get direct deposit!!)

17.. You contribute $1 to the office Christmas party, eat the most food and take a platter of lunch meat and potato salad home to your family for dinner.

18.. Before someone uses your telephone at your desk, they have to wipe
the chicken grease off the handset.
19.. You call in sick on Friday because you went out on Thursday.
20.. You don’t like your supervisor and a couple other coworkers and you tell them off on a regular basis and wonder why you haven’t been promoted.

21.. You get your haircut/hair done on lunch and come back two hours later and then ask “Was anybody looking for me?”.
22.. You cuss your creditors out for calling you at work.
23.. You come to work on Friday’s dressed for the club.
24.. Your kids call your job and say to the operator, “Let me speak to my Mama”
25.. You are sitting there reading this instead of getting your work done.

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