Posted by: bueller | September 5, 2007

The Best Ways to Cure a Hangover

After a long weekend of partying, or a trip to Vegas, or a wedding with an open bar, or if you are in college, everyone has experienced some sort of hangover or effects of that nature. Times like these require desperate measures, well, depending on how desperate your situation is. Most people have tried a good number of these remedies, and most of them have discovered which works best for them. If you are out of college and you havn’t figured out what works best for you, get it together cause you suck at life!!! Okay sorry that was harsh. Here are some hangover cures that I have heard of:

Drink More – the manly way to do it. This is the expected method if you are in Las Vegas, you don’t have a choice.

Smoke Weed – First, we at drunkenpanda.com do not condone or support this in any way, it’s illegal….drugs are illegal!!! But, supposedly it’s one of the best hangover cures out there. I don’t know why or how it works because I have never tried it (wink wink). Also, it’s probably a good idea that if for some reason you do try this, make sure it’s not your first time smoking.

Chaser (or any other anti-hangover drug) – There are a bunch of different drugs out there that you can buy at your local drug store that I would describe as a “preemptive strike” against the hangover. You typically take a pill or two every two hours while drinking and in the morning you don’t have a hangover. I have never tried this, but it sounds like witchcraft to me. If you are drinking, and you are drinking hard enough to possibly achieve a hangover the next day, you are not going to remember to take a pill every two hours. Seriously, when people get drunk they lose track of time, and they are going to forget to take the pills, so I score this as a scam. They are ripping you off, don’t buy it. And whats more disturbing, what if you go streaking, where do you put your pills? That’s a major design flaw!

Exercise – yeah, good luck with this. If you do this as your hangover cure you are most likely a firm believer of the philosophy of: “it’s all metal”. Yeah you know who you are you freaks of nature, I hate you, go back to the gym and stay there! I once had a soccer coach who told me, “I run an hour every day, but if I drink heavy any night I run two hours the next day”. Seriously, that’s stupid.

Food, Lots of Greasy Food – my favorite activity the day after drinking, well, its my favorite activity every day. It’s great when you roll out of bed and get ready in 2 minutes and go out to grab the greasiest food you can think of. Big fat omelette’s work well, pretty much any Mexican food, but the best is a big fat burger. Tommy’s or Fatburger works great, but the best is In n’ Out. I am sorry if you don’t have these where you live cause you are missing out in a big way. There is nothing like getting a double-double animal style with animal style fries and a large coke, it dominates the hangover.

Advil+Water+Sleep (or any combination of those) – this method to me seems to be for little sissy girls. If you are a sissy and this is your method….bingo! If you are a grizzled rugby player and you do this, oops (gulp). Laying in bed til 3 o’clock in the afternoon while drinking water isn’t going to do shit to help the hangover. Seriously, get up and get the blood flowing, get something in you. If later you take a nap, that’s cool, I am pretty sure that’s standard operating procedure for a lot of people.

Coffee – caffeine seems to be a popular hangover cure. I personally don’t drink coffee, I don’t know about you guys but it seems like an adult thing to drink for a hangover. I don’t have the maturity level of an adult, therefore I don’t drink coffee (that doesn’t make any sense). Well, just ask my girlfriend, she will tell you how mature I am. Moving on.

Make Yourself Throw Up – we don’t condone this method either, but sometimes you just get the feeling that if you throw up you will feel so much better. Then when it doesn’t happen you feel like shit the next day. I don’t want anyone getting carried away and turning into Nicole Richie, that’s not a good idea. But I have heard testimonials from people and this does in fact work.

Drink a 40 oz. Gatorade – this is the single greatest hangover cure that I have discovered. I tell people about it all the time and they love it. Right before you go to bed, pound a 40 oz. Gatorade (or any sport drink), then pass out. If you cant take down the whole thing drink as much as you can. It puts a dent in the re-hydration process that you have to do the next day. I promise you will feel the difference the next morning.

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Responses

  1. I vote for the gatorade at night with a little advil, followed by a very large coke and some greasy food the next morning. And then an additional afternoon catnap always helps.

  2. I’ve heard that a combo of the late-night gatorade slam plus the wake-n-bake approach does wonders. Just what I’ve heard people say.

  3. you fucking stoner!!! youre fired!!!

  4. I have a couple of other approaches that work out pretty well too, though most often, I go with the Gatorade/water-chug approach. Sometimes I pop a multivitamin and an advil on a particularly rough night if I have the presence of mind to do so.

    I love coffee, but coke far and away beats coffee as a hangover remedy. I’m not sure why.


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